I cannot stand scales. They mock me and are critical and demeaning. Scales are not my friends. I have not owned a scale in a long time because I do not like the temptation to humiliate myself on a daily basis so I have not felt the need to own one in a long time. With that in mind, I started the year without a New Year's resolution to "lose weight" but instead, a goal to be more active and hit my goal of 10,000 steps each day. Have I hit that goal everyday? Heck no! But I have smashed it more than a handful of times!! And I feel better!! That being said, I gave into temptation at a friends house and stepped onto that critical piece of technology and took a look at my weight for the first time in a long time...and...it was good!! I had lost 14 pounds!! That was over a month ago. I have debated and gone back and forth about the pros and cons to having a scale of my own again. Finally, after a seemingly endless struggle, I bought one!! It is a dial one which is less mocking since it only gives me the gist of how much I weigh versus the decimal increments of my body's mass. I'd prefer not to be mocked. After opening it up, I HAD to try it...so I did. And I have lost another 5 pounds!!! It might not seem like much, but to me, this is huge! I also have thyroid issues so I did not think I would lose any at all until I got my thyroid under control so I am sky high! Take that digital scale!!
Anyway, today was cycle at the Y with Christina and it was intense!! I was dying but it was worth it. I have really enjoyed cycle lately. And it helps I went with Susan. I love having someone to go to classes at the gym with. It is very lonely going by yourself, but not horrible. I still enjoy walking the track, the treadmill or the elliptical by myself so I can listen to my books on tape from Audible. I get really into them.
I ran errands today with Sam while Ben went with Susan to her house. We walked around Sam's Club (the sample store Sam calls it) and got samples of course! Allen met us there after school. It was really nice to spend some time just the 3 of us. Kindof like a date! After that, we went by Old Navy and the mall, and then to Target. By then, it was time for the kids to get off the bus, so we had to hurry home.
Sometimes I LOVE when UPS comes. Today was one of those days. I got what I had ordered off Amazon for Belle's birthday today! So just before I got on here to write this, I packed up her stuff and got out the things I needed to decorate her birthday card. I cannot believe I will have a teenage daughter on May 12!!! I miss her like crazy 24/7 and wish things could be different so I could see her more. Maybe one day, right? Anyway, I got her a nice horse coloring book, a mandala coloring book, some cute knee socks and a 36 pack of colored pencils. It's not much, but she loves to color and draw so it'll make her happy, which is good enough for me!
Tonight was pizza night with a Wii U Dance 2015 party! My favorite thing for racking up extra steps. The best part of it though was the fact that the kids didn't just argue and fight the whole time. Bonus for me! Now I'm so SO tired and ready to crash.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Another day
I have felt prompted on several occasions to keep a journal. I have sadly, ignored those nudges and put it off. It's time to stop ignoring and start journaling! SO, here goes.
Today started off with me all ready to go to yoga class at the Y, when Ben decided to vomit on himself and it even came out his nose! Poor guy! Also, he was so pouty and felt so bad I stayed home with him and had a movie day with him and Sam. It was a good day for the most part. Sam even stayed dry all day, which is huge for him! He still prefers diapers, I think, but we are making definite progress toward being potty trained! He even stayed dry all night the other night when I forgot to put a diaper on him at bedtime.
The biggest news for today....Ben is now army crawling!!!! I am so proud of him! He is doing so amazing! He is also cutting a tooth, so he should have one within the next week or so. I always hoped he'd get a tooth for his birthday but a month after is still great! So thankful for the progress he is making and for those that have helped him along the way, especially Susan and Kaitlyn, his aides. They are amazing.
Tonight, I went to the local middle school 6th grade band concert. Two of my friends daughters were playing and I wanted to see their concert in addition to seeing what the band program entails as I am trying to decide whether or not to homeschool Lily next year. Unfortunately, in my mind, the band program was not what I thought it should be, so I am probably going to go ahead and homeschool Lily. She can learn an instrument at home where I can teach her. She is smart and with regular practice, I am sure she will be great.
Of course after the band program, I fell completely off the losing weight band wagon as I went to DQ and got a blizzard. I suppose tomorrow will be a better day and will hopefully start with an awesome cycle class! Night!
Today started off with me all ready to go to yoga class at the Y, when Ben decided to vomit on himself and it even came out his nose! Poor guy! Also, he was so pouty and felt so bad I stayed home with him and had a movie day with him and Sam. It was a good day for the most part. Sam even stayed dry all day, which is huge for him! He still prefers diapers, I think, but we are making definite progress toward being potty trained! He even stayed dry all night the other night when I forgot to put a diaper on him at bedtime.
The biggest news for today....Ben is now army crawling!!!! I am so proud of him! He is doing so amazing! He is also cutting a tooth, so he should have one within the next week or so. I always hoped he'd get a tooth for his birthday but a month after is still great! So thankful for the progress he is making and for those that have helped him along the way, especially Susan and Kaitlyn, his aides. They are amazing.
Tonight, I went to the local middle school 6th grade band concert. Two of my friends daughters were playing and I wanted to see their concert in addition to seeing what the band program entails as I am trying to decide whether or not to homeschool Lily next year. Unfortunately, in my mind, the band program was not what I thought it should be, so I am probably going to go ahead and homeschool Lily. She can learn an instrument at home where I can teach her. She is smart and with regular practice, I am sure she will be great.
Of course after the band program, I fell completely off the losing weight band wagon as I went to DQ and got a blizzard. I suppose tomorrow will be a better day and will hopefully start with an awesome cycle class! Night!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
A time to give Thanks.
This week we celebrated Thanksgiving! I have been working on not being overwhelmed and stressed so I did not make anything for the holiday this year. It felt really weird getting ready without an apron on, my hands armpit deep into making all kinds of stuff. I love making pies, cheesecake, breads, mashed potatoes and other things. It was relaxing though, just going and visiting without timers and messes. I kinda missed the stress of it, as crazy as that sounds.
The kids had a great time visiting with cousins and relatives. It was a real treat having my maternal grandparents there. They visit about once a year and this year it was for Thanksgiving! After the food was consumed and then everything cleaned up, we visited for a long while. Very relaxing.
Of course with the passing of Thanksgiving comes the excitement and pressures of the holiday season, namely, Christmas! So, we decided to clean the house in preparation for putting up the tree. (Gotta clear some space right?) It was refreshing to purge our things and create some space again. It seems so often in our small 3 bedroom trailer that we get swallowed up in clutter and disorganization! Not because we are all inherently lazy, but that we just simply do not have enough space for the number of people. We can occupy this space we just need to live more simply and less cluttery. (I know it's not really a word...)
As we were getting ready to put up the tree, I realized the last few years we have had a felt tree skirt with a Santa design on it and last year my son threw up all over it! For those of you that have tried to get vomit out of felt, you can probably guess what I did with it. Yep. I threw it away. I figured I would make one before next Christmas. Well guess what?! I forgot!! SO, I knew I needed to make one ASAP before the tree went up. I mean honestly, how good does a tree look without a tree skirt?? Not good.
Ok for those of you who do not know me yet, I am NOT a fan of Pinterest. I do have a pinterest account and have perused the boards of ideas for many hours. Let me be clear when I say I think pinterest is a wonderful tool and I highly recommend it to those in need of crafty inspiration. However, I find that it becomes an internet black hole, comparable only to facebook. I get on and before I know it, I have been sucked into a time warp and instantaneously HOURS of my life are gone!! Ok, rant over.
So I log into pinterest and before I being looking for tree skirt ideas I get distracted with friends recent pins....fast forward 45 mins and I finally search for tree skirt ideas, pick one and quickly log off before I can get distracted again. (45 mins! Not too bad huh??) I go into my room, grab some fabric, my machine and head over to my moms house (next door) to use her sewing room. Fast forward again 5 hours, lunchtime, naptime and a seriously smashed in the door finger later and success!! I made a tree skirt!! It's not super fancy and some might call it awfully plain but I love it and it suits our family. It is simply a gored skirt pattern with 16 gores, turned and topstitched with a muslin backing and rick rack around the edges for some flair. Not too shabby.
It fits right in with our homemade mis-match stockings...
And our homemade advent calendar...(although I cannot take credit for this one. My mom and sister made it for me when I very first got married as a copy of the one we had growing up. I have had to fix and add ornaments as they get too much love and need repair...)
I am so thankful we have a mis-matched homemade kind of life. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Of course with the passing of Thanksgiving comes the excitement and pressures of the holiday season, namely, Christmas! So, we decided to clean the house in preparation for putting up the tree. (Gotta clear some space right?) It was refreshing to purge our things and create some space again. It seems so often in our small 3 bedroom trailer that we get swallowed up in clutter and disorganization! Not because we are all inherently lazy, but that we just simply do not have enough space for the number of people. We can occupy this space we just need to live more simply and less cluttery. (I know it's not really a word...)
As we were getting ready to put up the tree, I realized the last few years we have had a felt tree skirt with a Santa design on it and last year my son threw up all over it! For those of you that have tried to get vomit out of felt, you can probably guess what I did with it. Yep. I threw it away. I figured I would make one before next Christmas. Well guess what?! I forgot!! SO, I knew I needed to make one ASAP before the tree went up. I mean honestly, how good does a tree look without a tree skirt?? Not good.
Ok for those of you who do not know me yet, I am NOT a fan of Pinterest. I do have a pinterest account and have perused the boards of ideas for many hours. Let me be clear when I say I think pinterest is a wonderful tool and I highly recommend it to those in need of crafty inspiration. However, I find that it becomes an internet black hole, comparable only to facebook. I get on and before I know it, I have been sucked into a time warp and instantaneously HOURS of my life are gone!! Ok, rant over.
So I log into pinterest and before I being looking for tree skirt ideas I get distracted with friends recent pins....fast forward 45 mins and I finally search for tree skirt ideas, pick one and quickly log off before I can get distracted again. (45 mins! Not too bad huh??) I go into my room, grab some fabric, my machine and head over to my moms house (next door) to use her sewing room. Fast forward again 5 hours, lunchtime, naptime and a seriously smashed in the door finger later and success!! I made a tree skirt!! It's not super fancy and some might call it awfully plain but I love it and it suits our family. It is simply a gored skirt pattern with 16 gores, turned and topstitched with a muslin backing and rick rack around the edges for some flair. Not too shabby.
It fits right in with our homemade mis-match stockings...
And our homemade advent calendar...(although I cannot take credit for this one. My mom and sister made it for me when I very first got married as a copy of the one we had growing up. I have had to fix and add ornaments as they get too much love and need repair...)
I am so thankful we have a mis-matched homemade kind of life. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
19 weeks and uncomfortable!
The 19 week mark came this last week. I feel very excited for this baby! I was talking with my mother yesterday and she told me she would be giving each of us children something she had made for Christmas. I asked if I could just place an order for something that I had been wanting to make and she agreed. She is making me a custom made diaper bag with matching changing pad!! She plans to make a matching quilt for the baby as she usually does for each grandchild. So exciting!!
On another note, tonight I have been for the last almost 4 hours been having really bad cramps. I know I am not in labor or anything but it's very annoying and I cannot take anything for it. I just hopes it gets better.
The Crazy Carter Crew Introduction!
Hi everyone! My name is Rebecca and I am the mother and co-creator of our special blend of crazy. My co-conspirator is Allen and he is the love of my life. We met and married 9 short years ago, each bringing little ones to the table. He brought Allyson, a vibrant as well as frustrating 17 year old (at the time) and I brought Arabella, then 2 and terrible and little Lily, then 4 months old and tiny but loud. We married and he quickly adopted Lily. Unfortunately, as previously divorced families go, we had to share both Allyson and Arabella with their other parents so time as a complete family was in short supply. Fast forward 9 years and we have added 3 children, 2 grandchildren, a son-in-law and a step-grandson! It is unthinkable how fast time flies.
We are a usual family with the usual problems. We do not have a lot of money...but then again, who with a lot of kids does?? We live in a small house but it is just the right size for us at this time. Allen and I both feel the smaller space leads the children to be more interactive and seek out alone time less. I still encourage alone time for reading and study but encourage just as much playing together and doing things together as a family. We are a spiritual family. We love the Lord and live the gospel of Jesus Christ (the best we can) as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We could always be better, kinder, nicer, more generous, more sincere, more loving, and more Christlike. Fortunately, each day gives us the opportunity to be better and so every day I try to do just that!
This past August I got a yeast infection instead of a period. Yay...I thought there was no way I could be pregnant since Allen and I have been very careful. Not careful enough I suppose, says the midwife as she fills out the paper with my due date on it! Very funny. At my doctor's office, I had my 9 week checkup and we got to see the little baby on the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat! It is still so amazing to me how very quickly something so tiny develops into a little person. We met with her afterward and she gave us the usual run down of prenatal tests and what that involved. I have been with this nurse practitioner for the last 3 years and I really like her. She suggested the tests with my 2 year old, Samuel and so we knew that it was an additional opportunity to see the baby via ultrasound! I decided to go ahead with the testing, scheduling for a day the kids were all out of school so they could see their little sibling. During the testing, which took longer than I expected, the kids were all so excited and surprisingly well behaved. I met with my NP for a moment, had some blood drawn and went home not thinking twice about the testing. I got a call from my NP a couple days later to let me know my results were positive. I wasn't sure what this meant. I then asked, and she explained that due to the screening results thus far, my chances for having a baby with Down's syndrome had jumped from 1 in 375 to 1 in 23. I was then referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine to meet with a geneticist and have further testing. I was a little shocked but figured, hey! The odds are not that bad.
I can safely say I had not yet boarded my emotional roller coaster. I spoke with the geneticist, who although was extremely nice, spoke in a very grave manner. She advised several other possible screening we could do or we could go with definitive testing (amniocentesis). Allen and I discussed the risks and decided to go with an amnio since that way we would know for 100% sure. I was very anxious about the procedure, especially when it was scheduled for less than a week away!!
The amnio was very quick and relatively painless. The ultrasound tech, Sara, was so awesome during the pre-amnio ultrasound. She made us laugh and we chatted about our other children and her step-son and a bunch of other stuff. We also found out we were having a BOY!!! Allen was so excited he was jumping up and down! I have to admit I was secretly hoping it was a boy. I love my girls and would love another one, but my boys are my babies and I just really wanted another boy to be my last.
We met with a super nice doctor after the procedure and he explained a list of things he had observed in the ultrasound that were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome and that were a concern. He also had me give blood to screen for cystic fibrosis in case that could explain some of the issues. Through it all he was upbeat and positive and assured us our questions would be answered and all would be much clearer once the amnio results came back. He did notice the baby was measuring right on track, if not a bit above, which is not common with Down's babies. This gave some comfort for sure!
Ok, time to hop on that emotional roller coaster! I started looking up Down's syndrome and everything that could be a marker for it. I searched and researched and asked Google thousands of questions. (all in a matter of 2 days...) I would feel excited and positive our baby was perfectly fine. We were one of the 22. Other times, I would wallow in despair about what this would mean for our family. What would we do? How would our other children deal with this? How would Allen and I deal with this? The unknown would consume me.
Finally, I called the geneticist and asked about our test results and she confirmed the baby does in fact have Down's syndrome. At this point, I had begun to accept this would be the way it was. I was secretly hoping for normal but I was surprisingly not devastated to hear this news. It did not entirely sink in at that moment but I knew, when asked, we most definitely DID want to continue this pregnancy. We have no interest whatsoever in terminating our child just because he has an extra chromosome.
Since then, I have broken down and cried several times. Mainly from loss of what could have been or from feeling overwhelmed. How am I going to be able to handle a special needs child when I already have 5 other children? I have realized since then how prideful I have been when it comes to relying on people. I just assume people will be unwilling to help so I do not ask, but am still bitter about not having any help. Backward huh?? I decided I need to begin asking. If someone says no, I know enough people eventually I will find someone who will say yes. I am having to practice this and my closest friend keeps telling me, JUST ASK! It has only been a few weeks since we found out and we have already had 3 appointments and have 3 more scheduled in the next 3 weeks! The amount of doctors we are going to have to see in the coming years is overwhelming and intimidating.
On a positive note, our children, after being explained to about what Down's syndrome is and what that entails, were so excited!!! I think it increased their excitement. We also decided on a name; Benjamin. In spite of everything, today is a good day.
Tomorrow will come whether we are ready or not!
We are a usual family with the usual problems. We do not have a lot of money...but then again, who with a lot of kids does?? We live in a small house but it is just the right size for us at this time. Allen and I both feel the smaller space leads the children to be more interactive and seek out alone time less. I still encourage alone time for reading and study but encourage just as much playing together and doing things together as a family. We are a spiritual family. We love the Lord and live the gospel of Jesus Christ (the best we can) as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We could always be better, kinder, nicer, more generous, more sincere, more loving, and more Christlike. Fortunately, each day gives us the opportunity to be better and so every day I try to do just that!
This past August I got a yeast infection instead of a period. Yay...I thought there was no way I could be pregnant since Allen and I have been very careful. Not careful enough I suppose, says the midwife as she fills out the paper with my due date on it! Very funny. At my doctor's office, I had my 9 week checkup and we got to see the little baby on the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat! It is still so amazing to me how very quickly something so tiny develops into a little person. We met with her afterward and she gave us the usual run down of prenatal tests and what that involved. I have been with this nurse practitioner for the last 3 years and I really like her. She suggested the tests with my 2 year old, Samuel and so we knew that it was an additional opportunity to see the baby via ultrasound! I decided to go ahead with the testing, scheduling for a day the kids were all out of school so they could see their little sibling. During the testing, which took longer than I expected, the kids were all so excited and surprisingly well behaved. I met with my NP for a moment, had some blood drawn and went home not thinking twice about the testing. I got a call from my NP a couple days later to let me know my results were positive. I wasn't sure what this meant. I then asked, and she explained that due to the screening results thus far, my chances for having a baby with Down's syndrome had jumped from 1 in 375 to 1 in 23. I was then referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine to meet with a geneticist and have further testing. I was a little shocked but figured, hey! The odds are not that bad.
I can safely say I had not yet boarded my emotional roller coaster. I spoke with the geneticist, who although was extremely nice, spoke in a very grave manner. She advised several other possible screening we could do or we could go with definitive testing (amniocentesis). Allen and I discussed the risks and decided to go with an amnio since that way we would know for 100% sure. I was very anxious about the procedure, especially when it was scheduled for less than a week away!!
The amnio was very quick and relatively painless. The ultrasound tech, Sara, was so awesome during the pre-amnio ultrasound. She made us laugh and we chatted about our other children and her step-son and a bunch of other stuff. We also found out we were having a BOY!!! Allen was so excited he was jumping up and down! I have to admit I was secretly hoping it was a boy. I love my girls and would love another one, but my boys are my babies and I just really wanted another boy to be my last.
We met with a super nice doctor after the procedure and he explained a list of things he had observed in the ultrasound that were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome and that were a concern. He also had me give blood to screen for cystic fibrosis in case that could explain some of the issues. Through it all he was upbeat and positive and assured us our questions would be answered and all would be much clearer once the amnio results came back. He did notice the baby was measuring right on track, if not a bit above, which is not common with Down's babies. This gave some comfort for sure!
Ok, time to hop on that emotional roller coaster! I started looking up Down's syndrome and everything that could be a marker for it. I searched and researched and asked Google thousands of questions. (all in a matter of 2 days...) I would feel excited and positive our baby was perfectly fine. We were one of the 22. Other times, I would wallow in despair about what this would mean for our family. What would we do? How would our other children deal with this? How would Allen and I deal with this? The unknown would consume me.
Finally, I called the geneticist and asked about our test results and she confirmed the baby does in fact have Down's syndrome. At this point, I had begun to accept this would be the way it was. I was secretly hoping for normal but I was surprisingly not devastated to hear this news. It did not entirely sink in at that moment but I knew, when asked, we most definitely DID want to continue this pregnancy. We have no interest whatsoever in terminating our child just because he has an extra chromosome.
Since then, I have broken down and cried several times. Mainly from loss of what could have been or from feeling overwhelmed. How am I going to be able to handle a special needs child when I already have 5 other children? I have realized since then how prideful I have been when it comes to relying on people. I just assume people will be unwilling to help so I do not ask, but am still bitter about not having any help. Backward huh?? I decided I need to begin asking. If someone says no, I know enough people eventually I will find someone who will say yes. I am having to practice this and my closest friend keeps telling me, JUST ASK! It has only been a few weeks since we found out and we have already had 3 appointments and have 3 more scheduled in the next 3 weeks! The amount of doctors we are going to have to see in the coming years is overwhelming and intimidating.
On a positive note, our children, after being explained to about what Down's syndrome is and what that entails, were so excited!!! I think it increased their excitement. We also decided on a name; Benjamin. In spite of everything, today is a good day.
Tomorrow will come whether we are ready or not!
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